Thoughts on My Dogs

A thousand things always happen at once. I finally had time last night to get dishes in the dishwasher and wash them. I also finally had time to catch up on bills.

What sucks, though, is that I only ever seem to have enough time to do the absolute minimum of everything. I really want a day of relaxation. Last Monday I had off from school, but I couldn't really relax because I knew that evening we were taking Shelby in to the vet for the big goodbye. It was a sucky ass day. I think we did th right thing but I still miss her. She was such a beautiful dog. And I have guilt that maybe we should have kept trying different things to help her.

I think logically I believe we did what was best. She was almost thirteen. She had to go outside almost every hour. She couldn't lie down without being uncomfortable. She couldn't go up stairs anymore...it's just weird without her around. She's been in my life since she was a puppy. We got her in the summer of 1995. Things were massively different then, and she's been with us through all the changes.

Also Riley seems to be taking it pretty hard. We brought Riley home not too long before Maggie died. I think they had about six months or so together before the end. Now Riley is faced with another death. So the two dogs she knew when she was little are both gone now, and she's only just turning three. I feel bad for her. She's been a bit of a shit lately, but I can't blame her. I wish she knew how sorry I am that she had to go through two deaths of her pack mates. It's not fair for her, anymore than it's fair for us.

Hockey Game

So I went to the boys' hockey game on Thursday night last week. I discovered that the JV game was at 5:30, so I didn't have to wait until 7:30 for hockey action. I stayed for all of both of the games. They were fairly entertaining, though we lost both games. It was cool to see the boys I've had in class doing something other than studying and whatnot. Their skating by itself was impressive, mostly because I can't really ice skate. There was a period of time where I was rollerblading and doing pretty well at it, but the ice skate is still a Sisyphian piece of footwear for me. And also, on rollerblades, I could never go backwards...

The games were interesting to watch, but I don't know that I gained a ton of knowledge that I didn't already have. What was cool was that a couple of students from JV came and watched the varsity game with me. They told me what they thought about the varisty players and yelled at the guys when they did stupid stuff. They also shmoozed with the moms in the stands. It was really sweet, actually. They seemed like they were totally in their element, which of course they were.

My Hockey Book

I'm supposed to be working on revising my novel for an agent, but I'm having a bit of a hard time getting going. The Scott Triemel agency contacted me by phone a few weeks ago and asked if I'd be willing to change a few things and then they'd be willing to agent my book. I listened to his recommnedations, and I thought all of them seemed to be things that would definitely better my manuscript.

So I've been going over the book after doing a little bit of plotting and thinking. He said the whole bit with the aunt is a red herring, and I agree, but I also want there to be a family history of insanity. So I want to leave her in somehow. I thought maybe I'd just scale her back and Sid could find out that she hadn't died from cancer like he'd been told, but that she had killed herself somehow. Then he can still question his sanity without having to waste time looking her up on the internet and driving out to her place. I did like some of that scene with the aunt, though. I liked the idea that he had another relative that would be there for him, sane or not.

He also said I need to make a bigger connection between Tyler and Sidney so it's clear why Tyler would hold a grudge for so long. I think I have that decided. I'm going to amp up what I have and add a new piece to it...

I really wanted to have it done after a month, but I think I'll need a little more time. Too much going on with work and with Shelby having Cushing's disease. I'm not getting hardly any sleep lately, and neither is Mara.

Maybe by March THE WAY THE WIND BLOWS will be finished and returned to the Scott Triemel agency. In the meantime, I'm attending the boys' hockey game tonight for inspiration.