Wish I Could Help

One of my students who graduated in 2004 has been in contact with me off and on over the past few years. JN was enrolled in college in Wisconsin for a year, but hated being away from home drove him crazy. He hates being away from home (not his parents house, but his hometown) so much that he wouldn't go on the mythology trip with me in 2003 even though his best friend was going and I almost begged him to go. Anyway, he came back from Wisconsin and never started school here, as far as I know.

I ran into JN this weekend when his best friend (a girl) married another guy. JN had dated her in high school for a while, but then broke up with her because he didn't like how they were together. He told me it wasn't working. Well, at the wedding, of course, JN was a little upset. I think he felt like he was losing a part of his past which could have been part of his future. I think he was mourning the death of a relationship that was never going to be.

I try to talk to him as honestly as I can because he's fairly down to earth and he seems to need some guidance from an adult. I wrote to him via facebook and told him that he was better off not having married her because she isn't deep enough for him. She's a kind girl, beautiful, and relatively smart, but she's not a thinker. JN is one of the deepest thinkers I've meet in my life. He doesn't necessarily come up with anything outstanding, but he thinks on things like crazy.

Thankfully on facebook he told me that he mostly agrees with me about his friend, that she is too surface-y for him. I'm glad I didn't hurt his feelings or make him feel like I was being too hard on her.

The thing I really wanted to get to was the way that he says things sometimes and the types of things he ponders on. I worry about him because I recognize traits in him that I have faced in myself all my life. I know that JN is depressed. I think he needs to be on medication for depression. We've spoken about it twice. But he is reluctant to go to the doctor for depression because of all the stigmas attached to depression.

I wish I could convince him that he could really benefit from medication. I have had such a different life since I started taking mine in 2001. Life has been so much more hopeful. All of the things he worries about are the things I used to worry about, and I know he can cut his worry in half at least with the right prescription. I wish I could get him to accept that. He is such a bright young man with real musical talent. I don't want him to become a statistic.

This is the lizard opening to the Shedd Acquarium. Totally awesome.

I thought the Millennium Bean was going to be a big joke, but I fell in love with it. It's a giant bean and I loved it.

Woman, me, and my cousin cast our reflections into the magic bean. Clearly rumors of my cousin's vampirism have been greatly exaggerated.

Woman elevates the bean over her head with her mad wizarding powers.

The bridge over the Chicago River at LaSalle.

Dexter on DVD

I've been watching the Showtime series Dexter, which I bought on DVD. It just came out this past Tuesday. I've been mildly excited about its arrival, but I don't know what I think of it.

I know a few things about serial killers, and as I get older, I find them more and more disturbing. As a teen, I thought they were interesting enough to learn a few things about them, but I can only read so much before I get a little sickened. Still something about Jack the Ripper has always been intriguing. How did he get away with so many brutal murders in the middle of London? I've read about him, done the London walk, and talked to the foremost Ripperologist in the world, the one who gave Johnny Depp his information before he made the film From Hell.

So watching Dexter is interesting in some regard. I have a hard time believing some of it, however. The basic premise is great: a guy who is a would-be serial killer is raised by a man who helps him supress his urges through hunting animals and through teaching him how to be "normal." The problem I have with it is: why does Dexter care about being normal and fitting in? If he is as he says--empty inside--what part of him makes him want to be exceptable to others? I don't buy it. I like the idea, but I think the basic mindset of the serial killer pervents him from having concern for others. Most serial killers are sociopaths who feel nothing for others.

Dexter seems to have a wide birth of emotions, though no sexual needs. Another odd thing. The one thing sociopaths can do is feel physically. He should enjoy food, sex, sleep, and the like. He makes it clear that he enjoys food, but I don't get why he isn't interested in sex.

Dexter seems to have sympathy for victims of other killers. He has sympathy for his girlfriend (!!) and her children. He has sympathy (somewhat) for his sister.

Dexter kills killers. That's how he's used his "curse" in life. But in order to kill killers, doesn't he have to have a certain hatred/dislike for them, or doesn't he have to care that the killer has no more victims? I don't understand why he cares.

The father in his life taught him how to fit in, trained him how to ambush people, trained him how to shoot a gun and use a knife, and behind it all, he insisted that he did it all to save Dexter from killing innocent people and being sentenced to death. I think that's a fascinating idea--a new twist on the father-son relationship. I understand the dad's motivation, but I don't understand Dexter's acceptance of it. He would have to care what the father thought of him to comply to his wishes.

Oh, and holy use of the F word. Jeez. It's constant. And the only nudity is of women with really flat boobs. Boo. If they have to have nudity, they should make it worthwhile.

Today was a good day

I actually had some time for myself today in between appointments for my father's revisiting cancer. I got to do the coolest thing. I have only once before been anywhere close to doing this, and it was not on such a high caliber.

I got to meet Pete Hautman, a YA author I have read over the past eight years. One I actually have respect for. I read one of his books yesterday to prepare because the group who hosted him was a teen book club at the SLP library. They read Godless about a group of teens who begin to worship the local water tower, the Ten-legged One. It was a great satire about religion, and a good example of the power of religious leaders.

He was interesting and witty and very personable. I spoke to him briefly after and he seemed like a really cool guy. I told him how much I liked how he wrote and he seemed to actually appreciate the comment. I think I will reread his book Sweetblood about a diabetic girl who believes diabetes and vampirism are related.

Meeting Pete Hautman was one of the highlights of my summer, even in the face of my trip to Greece and Italy. He reinstilled my passion for writing, and I've been in a slump lately.