Wish I Could Help

One of my students who graduated in 2004 has been in contact with me off and on over the past few years. JN was enrolled in college in Wisconsin for a year, but hated being away from home drove him crazy. He hates being away from home (not his parents house, but his hometown) so much that he wouldn't go on the mythology trip with me in 2003 even though his best friend was going and I almost begged him to go. Anyway, he came back from Wisconsin and never started school here, as far as I know.

I ran into JN this weekend when his best friend (a girl) married another guy. JN had dated her in high school for a while, but then broke up with her because he didn't like how they were together. He told me it wasn't working. Well, at the wedding, of course, JN was a little upset. I think he felt like he was losing a part of his past which could have been part of his future. I think he was mourning the death of a relationship that was never going to be.

I try to talk to him as honestly as I can because he's fairly down to earth and he seems to need some guidance from an adult. I wrote to him via facebook and told him that he was better off not having married her because she isn't deep enough for him. She's a kind girl, beautiful, and relatively smart, but she's not a thinker. JN is one of the deepest thinkers I've meet in my life. He doesn't necessarily come up with anything outstanding, but he thinks on things like crazy.

Thankfully on facebook he told me that he mostly agrees with me about his friend, that she is too surface-y for him. I'm glad I didn't hurt his feelings or make him feel like I was being too hard on her.

The thing I really wanted to get to was the way that he says things sometimes and the types of things he ponders on. I worry about him because I recognize traits in him that I have faced in myself all my life. I know that JN is depressed. I think he needs to be on medication for depression. We've spoken about it twice. But he is reluctant to go to the doctor for depression because of all the stigmas attached to depression.

I wish I could convince him that he could really benefit from medication. I have had such a different life since I started taking mine in 2001. Life has been so much more hopeful. All of the things he worries about are the things I used to worry about, and I know he can cut his worry in half at least with the right prescription. I wish I could get him to accept that. He is such a bright young man with real musical talent. I don't want him to become a statistic.