Thoughts on My Dogs

A thousand things always happen at once. I finally had time last night to get dishes in the dishwasher and wash them. I also finally had time to catch up on bills.

What sucks, though, is that I only ever seem to have enough time to do the absolute minimum of everything. I really want a day of relaxation. Last Monday I had off from school, but I couldn't really relax because I knew that evening we were taking Shelby in to the vet for the big goodbye. It was a sucky ass day. I think we did th right thing but I still miss her. She was such a beautiful dog. And I have guilt that maybe we should have kept trying different things to help her.

I think logically I believe we did what was best. She was almost thirteen. She had to go outside almost every hour. She couldn't lie down without being uncomfortable. She couldn't go up stairs anymore...it's just weird without her around. She's been in my life since she was a puppy. We got her in the summer of 1995. Things were massively different then, and she's been with us through all the changes.

Also Riley seems to be taking it pretty hard. We brought Riley home not too long before Maggie died. I think they had about six months or so together before the end. Now Riley is faced with another death. So the two dogs she knew when she was little are both gone now, and she's only just turning three. I feel bad for her. She's been a bit of a shit lately, but I can't blame her. I wish she knew how sorry I am that she had to go through two deaths of her pack mates. It's not fair for her, anymore than it's fair for us.