Time is not on my side

I never thought it would happen to me, but it has. I've become one of those adults who never has time for anything. It really bites. I feel like all I ever do is work and try to keep the rest of my family happy.

And to think I swore I'd never become this person!

What's worse is that it stresses me out terribly. I have back problems already, but I really feel like they're getting worse because of the stress on me. I love my job. I love my family. I love my friends. But honestly, I just want some time to myself. I would kill for an uninterrupted week for only me. Hell, even a couple of days.

Saturday, I went out to pick up a few things at Target and instead of going right back home, I drove to a Half Price Books store in Fridley, far, far away. Did it help? A little. But I discovered that the longer I was there, the more I thought about all the things I should have been doing at home: cleaning the house for our dinner company, starting dinner, correcting papers, calling my mother about her current knee problem, getting my car washed which hasn't been done in about six months, getting the oil changed (much more recent, FYI), doing my laundry, looking up info for my 9th grade students, choosing a non-offensive yet entertaining movie for a final in Advanced Mythology...AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

The list goes on and on. And sometimes I wish for something that will make it impossible for me to live up to it all. About three weeks ago, I really threw out my back. I had to call in to work for two days in a row. Not to mention, I couldn't go to my father's to help him out with his shower, laundry, and miscellany. All I really could do was lie around and watch TV. My God, but that was nice. I felt totally relaxed by the next day. Then the horror that is the weekend took hold. Responsibilities to everyone except myself. And then Monday, back to school, back to the piles of papers, and lists of emails, and blah, blah, blah.

Sometimes I really feel like it has to stop. Sometimes I feel like I'll go crazy. I have only one night of the work week for relaxing. Tuesday. That's it. That's all. I miss the nights I could come home and take a nap, then watch TV, then read a little, knowing that if I needed to do my work the following night it would be okay. Those days are gone. And so is most of my sanity.